Thursday, October 29, 2015

Thinking Out Loud | When You're Feeling Inadequate


Happy Friday Eve everyone! I'm linking up with Penny's Passion for a new series called "Thinking Out Loud", where I'll simply be sharing what's on my mind lately! Thanks for inviting me to link up with you, Penny!

Something that's been on my heart a lot lately is a feeling of inadequacy. It's been coming across in a lot of instances as of late. For example, a few nights ago, Lucy was just really fighting sleep. She was screaming and crying and no matter what I did it wasn't enough to calm her down. However, Preston went into her room and she fell quiet almost immediately. He rubbed her back and sang to her and within minutes she was fast asleep. Why was he good enough, but not me? Why couldn't I be a good mother and calm my poor baby?

Another instance: I've been blogging for about a year now. Every now and then I'll see a fellow blogger's blog really taking off, with sponsored content and collaborations I would love to be invited to. It makes me feel like my little corner of the web is just pointless. I feel intimidated by more established bloggers and feel as though mine will never be good enough.

And a third instance: I am currently almost 14 weeks pregnant with my second. With a second pregnancy, you start to show a little sooner and little more than the last time. It's never easy to watch yourself gain weight and get bigger, especially when there's not much you can do about it. It's rough on a girl's body image to watch her pants shrink and her body grow in so many different places. And the weight gain is just really making me feel inadequate compared to all the other moms and women out there that are rocking the latest skinny jeans and trendy quilted vests.

So what do you do when you are feeling small? When you're feeling worthless or unloved or unwanted?
1.) Look at the Positives // Something I have to remind myself almost daily: Stop. Comparing. It is so easy for us to compare our bodies, our closets, our homes, our children to those around us. Even through social media I find myself feeling inadequate when I see the things I wish I had or want to have. Just take a step back and look at all the positive things you do have. I am so blessed to be able to spend all day every day with my little girl. She depends on me for everything, and we depend on my husband to provide for us by working all day. Instead of being upset that I couldn't calm her that night, I should be thankful that I am able to comfort all day long and that I have a loving, hard-working husband who is a wonderful father and can help me. Instead of looking at my blog and thinking "it's not good enough", I remind myself of why I started this blog. I started it as a way to log my thoughts and meet new friends in a new community and I have done just that! I don't need to make money off of it; I'm doing it because I enjoy it! And instead of looking at my changing body and resenting the - ahem - girth, I remind myself how truly truly blessed I am to have been chosen to carry this baby inside me. How lucky I am that my body is able to carry and keep healthy my child, for any amount of time. I can't wait to meet this sweet little one and I can't imagine anything I wouldn't go through for him/her. Count your blessings, always!

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2.) Talk to Someone // If you find yourself feeling small and worthless, talk to someone! Talk to your mom, your husband, your best friend, your pastor. Anyone you can trust and who will listen to your heart. I am also blessed to be surrounded by wonderful friends and family, as well as a fantastic husband and in-laws that I can turn to for support and reassurance. I call my mom almost daily when I need advice, want to vent, or just miss her. Another great support system is my MOPS group. It's an amazing group of women who are all moms and have all "been there". I love that we can talk to each other and lift each other up in all situations.

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3.) PRAY // This blog isn't called Faith & Fashion for no reason! Turning to God in my times of need has been the most foolproof method for pulling myself out of any funk. When I'm wrestling with my self-esteem, there are several verses I turn to:

God LOVES You and Will Do Anything For You
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4

God is PERFECT and Does Not Fail
"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27
"But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?'" Romans 9:20

You Are Not Alone and You Have a WARRIOR
"For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." Deuteronomy 20:4

God CHOSE You and You Are HIS
"But now, this is what the Lord says - he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: 'Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.'" Isaiah 43:1

God Is On Your Side and He Will Make You STRONG
"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13


How comforting is it to know that you have a constant hand to hold? A shoulder to cry on at any given moment? A cheerleader when you win and when you fail? I love that I can turn to Him in any situation and find whatever I need, be it love, comfort, reassurance, affirmation...He is always there for me at any moment.

4.) Surround Yourself With Goodness // Another thing I've really started doing in my life is cutting out the negative. I've had to unfriend people on Facebook (or at the very least, unfollow them), stop watching certain shows and listening to certain music. If it makes me feel like I'm not good enough or like I don't have enough, I cut it out. Even some of my "friends" in real life, I've had to distance myself from to keep the negativity to a minimum. While it's hard to cut ties with people and things in your life, sometimes it's the best thing for us. By surrounding myself with like-minded and kind-hearted people, I've surrounded myself with positivity and true friends. People who genuinely love and care for me and my family.

What do you do to raise your self-esteem? Do you ever feel like distancing yourself from things that make you feel inadequate? Feel free to comment below.



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